One month...

until Mark is no longer employed in what used to be a stable workplace. I feel like we are being thrown to the dogs! Yes, Mark has several firm job offers, but they are driving a truck. He won't be home much, I'm afraid. He keeps saying he will, but I seriously doubt it. I hate that he's gonna miss part of his son's lives because he HAS to have a job and this is looking like the only option to get us anywhere NEAR what he makes now. Nevan is absolutely gonna be devastated--he asks me every night where daddy is. And when I tell him he's at work and he'll be home later, he just gets all upset because he wants him HERE!!! What am I gonna do with him when daddy's gone a week at a time? And not only do we have to weigh the pay between the offers, we also have to look at how much insurance is gonna cost us now. (we've not paid an insurance premium in 10 years!) There aren't any companies that pay insurance for their employees and familys now! I think DH is gonna be in for a BIG sticker shock when he finds out how much that's gonna cost us! I really don't think he has a clue.... Yeah, they say you're gonna make close to what you were a year, but subtract that insurance cost... we're gonna be eating beans everyday of our lives! I think the stress is really starting to get to me...I usually handle stress pretty well. But my stomach's been messed up all day and I've just felt BLAH. I just wanna curl up in a corner and be left alone. And we're waiting on our big Tax check. Sure would be nice to have that tomorrow. One big last HURRAH at the grocery store would be nice! Then the rest gets put in savings for when we need it to help pay the bills.

I really HATE this.......